a mixture of moments and trains and too much

you're choking on all your churning saliva
just digging up a cave in your stomach
and the words are all swimming in the air around you
and the words have sliced a shiver down your spine
now they're dancing in circles inside your head
will these healthcare-worker hands smooth down your skin?
will these white windows be opened to suck light, air, love in?
choking on your oesophagus
do these judging voices everpitter patter quietly down?
the birds violently dive after each other- their brave blind hearts pumping through their chests
are you gonna dive after me?
or will i try for you and then crash and fall for evermore?
the softening sawdust scents tickle my nose
an eyelash graces the page
i'm enjoying all this nostalgia and panty-hose
paralysed, sitting so motionless, stuck in the moment that she didn't even see me,
this paralysis getting all too familiar somehow
you feel the sun on your shoulders and your head's heavy now
burnt, charcoal smoking off on the insides of your insides
sparkling spheres stir a smile for a sweet second
but the silence, the towering cloaked silence
suffocates all the baby animals and their pale paws,
what if time is standing still and will things ever change, ever progress?
you only wait a minute or two- but even that waiting seems speedy, there's no impatience any more
before you know it, before you know it, before you know it,
the doors open and you didn't even have the time to think
but you are snaking along through all the chunky metal
hoping things get better,
until this trickly train of thought

is derailed.


......