sometimes
when i want to cry out an ocean
to feel cleaner
i imagine someone close to me has died

then try to feel better after that knowing that things are still so good

the forgotten

there's all that you have forgotten
you never want to think of it again
is it possible to trick your mind into eliminating memories
by scrunching them up and chucking them into a waste-paper basket
before setting it alight?
that's how you keep on keeping on, by setting fire to things unpleasant
there's just no point in weeping on, silky shoulders for the present

i don't know
fa
lling

a
s
leep

n

o
w


.

i want my tea

squashed between the upper and nether millstones
only they're more like clamps that stretch as well as squash
i'm getting bruises.
why does it all have to hang on you and pile on me
my tea's finally boiling now fucking steaming all over the fucking place
and you're too deaf to know what your inaction is doing
too stubborn to understand
just ridiculous this is
being smashed around feels like my smile's sinking yet i'm still grinning feels like i'm sinking into the ground
cold and definitely unhealthy and definitely not fit and struggling to keep up and getting lost and getting dazed and my body's heavy and you keep asking me and you keep relying on me and we all rush to throw the blame on someone else's shoulders and we all JUST FUCKING SCREAM.
i can't even be alone i can't even think in peace.
it's all getting far too much i'm still happy
this kettle's got to settle.

don't call me fragile girl

wrong
oh my dog i want an ocean and to sweem in it
oh my dog there go the birdies lifting me up again
oh no stop
how can anything be right?
when everything has just been so wrong.
like you like that
butterflies kiss me to sleep tonight hey?
no all my marbles are scattered and there goes my entrails
flapping in the wind
woahpee spare me some broccoli i'll be your friend
no matter what you say poopoohead now
get out of my room

what was that?

shakey spine mind

weird i had a dream that wolfmother were gonna be releasing a new album soon.
it's called 'gnarks revolutions'
and they played some of their songs but its hard to write how they sounded
i remember one of them was like a cover of this old song but done with heaps more roary guitar and one of the songs on their new album was love train.
also the lead singer dude was a bit more solid than he is at the moment, bit fatter, and his hair was cut shorter so it was less of an afro. he was wearing a black shirt with red and yellow stripes in the bottom corner or something it was weird and made him look sort of like a racing car driver. they weren't as likeable as they are now, more like the same awesome energetic music but kind of evil seeming.
yeah and i don't remember much else but i was just kind of amazed after that like it seemed really real and i think 'gnarks revolutions' could be a cool name for an album and i have no idea where that came from so yeah that was cool.
just wanted to write that down or something.

sugar-coated veins full of coffee

can't stop trying

running round in circles
my feet making a pounding sound and and digging up the ground,
grounding up everything around, going down down down
til i feel rundown
and so anxious i think
can't pinpoint the pixel
but all this chocolate blood exerts a sigh
oh cry cry cry
fucking why?

i'll draw our lives up on paper and send it to you in the mail
it will never fail i've got this plan i've got it all worked out
everything will go to plan i've got it all worked out
thinking too much and getting all these little squiggles caught in branches in my brain maybe it's driving me insane
escape and hide and play
take me on a holiday to a warm bath thats tucked away in the ocean surrounded by sand and a big rock and i'll lie there in my warm bath and stare at the sky while bleeding everything out while you sit midst the bushes with your knees pulled up to your mouth watching me watching the sky fade to black. then the water turns black as well and i fall into it and everything falls into the water and everything just falls and falls. then suddenly turns white it's alright.

i'm sad for jane i wish she didnt feel this pain
it's ok tomorrow it will rain.

fizzly explosion in my stomach as gerald feels like a mouldy piece of fat that was girting on the bread. chuckie was too scared to stop and smell the roses, too scared of that pen. how can anything work when you don't even try? how can anything work when you just give in and switch off your mind? turn the lights back on because it's so musty and grey in here that i can't see a thing. i'm brushing up against things i never even knew existed while i move with my eyesandears blindfolded. you'll see me coming at you and run away with the sunny autumn day becoz there's no other way you'd rather be. but hold onto your tongue because i bet i can fix you up even in this dim light where nothing seems to be going right. aren't you just screaming on the rollercoaster and enjoying the view at the top and vomiting all over everyone else's hair? oh i remember when i felt your breath and your nose almost touched my skin and i smilt so much because your presence calms me and lets out all kinds of liquids into my legs. man oh man oh boy oh boy. but we know that the world is cruel we're both almost asking for the world not to treat us right, we don't expect things to be beautiful too much, we don't expect the best things in our lives, we just hope but get scared when there may be a chance of having the best. i'm so glad that we've got that little sandwich, because smiles are sometimes all i need, even if things are going stupidly and shockingly and ive stopped working and given up again for a few days, well then id dream and then id remember our sandwich and smile. sucking on skateboards never was good for getting rid of splinters in your forearm. feet that are cold could be the end of you, as well as biscuits that are so so sweet and eyes that are red.
i never wanted to become like this but i never knew what i wanted so things became and became.
scoot over sooty and ill sweep the dust off your seat.

"the defeated"

i just can't work
can't work it out

is it all worth i t

is anything worth i t
in th end

?_?__?___?____?_____?______?_______?________?_________?



tell me something now

you can't read it

one step forward
and
two steps back
and
five steps forward

something somewhat..strange..rr...

well you jumped up in the air
but then got scared
and the arrows lead you to where?
something somewhat comforting
someone somewhere imagining
something somewhat frightening
someone somewhere, enlightening

i need your hand to hold i'm not yet tired of that
i just want to see your face
but theres all these faces that i'm seeing
and i just explained to everyone
that im kind of terrible at deciding
and you could never know who im thinking about
i could never know who im thinking about
because my thoughts move with the rapids raging the stream,
overlapping
and changing their minds all the time.

i don't even know how to explain. i'm so shy of explaining.

WHO GIVES A FUCK?
i like fuck.

inhale positivity exhale negativity

colourful photohogogogographs which make me feel niced to meet you
weird i can't stop listening to the Whiskey Go Gos they're an aussie band i just keep playing and playing their songs. very nice.
green tea has an interesting taste. so does banana with peanut butter on it.
nice though. i love soft hair.

moving on

to the sound of the bongo drums
to the taste of hot water
to the sight of things bright and the sky before night when the clouds all scream beauty

now forget all dull days gone
forget all wasted minutes
wake up and blink thrice, catch your eyes full of spice and make friends with the sinners

don't get caught in your dreams
don't depend solely on wishes
stay immersed in what's real focus on how you feel and sing out when you want to

be all that you can be
lift your head off the table
whiper in my ear don't you fear coz you're here and your horse is still stable

ABCDEFG

sweet
smile
words wearing coats made of sugar
bitter
smile
licorice aftertaste

always trying to make sense of everything
but everything doesn't make sense if you try

as-tu le cafard?

take my breath away
breathless
i want some

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